I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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