I showed him my bush... on skype.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
only you would photoshop your dick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
