Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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