And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
