Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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