Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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