Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
