I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
