Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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