I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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