Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
