Whod you bang
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
