I wanna passion pit in your ass
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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