No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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