38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You need Xanax blowdarts
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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