stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize