I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
