you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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