What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
