What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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