I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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