you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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