i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize