i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
