This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
