drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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