No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
