so that wasnt chicken after all
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
