Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
