Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Actions speak louder than pants.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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