I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
