love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
