you guys were way drunker than both of me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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