We're facebook friends in real life
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
