after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
