OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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