I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize