what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
