what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
