He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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