Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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