Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
