hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
