So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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