My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
