Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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