And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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