The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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