is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
