and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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