not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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