My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
