ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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