In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
