drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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