No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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