C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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