how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
