absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
